A dreamer's Journal

It was seven years ago yet I could still remember those times as I browse down some of familiar stories here. I was third year High School when I first meet this guy named Michael. He got a Chinese feature which actually my type. At first I was intimidated by him. I just thought that he really love showing off especially during class discussion. Honestly, he’s really smart, it’s just that my pride had been crashed for we both running for the Top of the class.
During our school intramural, we we’re both chosen to be a part of a cheer dancers and became partners. One time while practicing, I feel on the ground and was badly hurt while we were building a high pyramid as part of our stunt. He was really worried and he personally helped me. From that day on we became friends. We started sharing our own life stories and tell jokes. We share the same passion on writing poems.
He often asked me out to just roam around the campus. People always teases us, so I tried to keep distant from him. During our JS Prom, we danced and it was an awesome feeling.We stayed all night talking about anything with his arms around my shoulder. But after that, we haven’t talked about what is going on between us. We go home together, he thought me how to play a guitar with his arm wrapped around me yet nobody brought out the topic on what the score between us.
Until one day, we had a fight that had just started with just a simple thing. Our classmates ripped his magic paper and I happened to be holding one. He got angry at me that he shouted. I’ve got pissed off and started to run and cry.It was the first time that it happened. All the time he was sweet and caring and suddenly that thing happened. After a while, I’ve seen a hand offering a hanky and it was him. He said sorry and explained that he was just too upset that time because our physics professor didn’t accept there project. “I hate it every time I saw you cry and I even hate myself for causing it.” Michael says. We’ve been back as friends yet circumstances always makes us apart. He had been busy practicing for the competition on Folk dance and me became busy practicing for Field demonstration. And that’s were our friendship starts to fade.
During graduation, on stage after class pictorial, he grabbed me and hugged me tightly. I saw tears falling on his eyes. We hugged for we both know it would be a different world for us in College.
After high school, we haven’t seen each other often. We just meet during my birthday or on our yearly class reunion. At that time, he is still trying to be as sweet as before, holding my hands, sing a song for me, hugging me yet no words where being said.I come to a point where I told myself that maybe he doesn’t feel anything special for me. I remember those times when he said he just wanted one woman in his life and he will marry her. I felt sad. What if It,s not me? Fear strikes me so I started to be distant to him again. I was just afraid that time may come where he would find his girl and I couldn’t bear the pain. There’s a lot of “what if” at that time that i decided not to make an effort to see him again.Until one day, we accidentally bumped with each other and he told me that he has a girlfriend now. I was hurt that I even wanted to turn my back from him and run but I manage to smile and congratulate him.From that on, I desperately try to avoid him.

One time we we’re both online on FB and it happened that one of our classmate started the group chat. He started to ask question about me, how a i doing or how’s my love life.Christian also started to tease me if what was going on between me and Kim (one also of our classmate who become my bestpal). Michael become interested and keep on convincing me to tell the truth and admit if there’s something going on between kim and me.He said that he have heard a lot about us, that i always hang out with Kim and we spend a lot of time together. I just made no comment about it.

Four year had passed, he never attend our class reunion for the past years so i was surprised seeing him at the class meeting. It was the last reunion I’ll be attending for on the next month I’ve been set to fly to Europe to work and study. At that night after meeting, he just held my hand but he doesn’t say a word. He held my hand for a long time. We didn’t talked. Kim was also present that time yet he didn’t come near me for he know how i feel about Michael. He gives us time to talk but after Michael spotted Kim, he tried to avoid me. He haven’t even attended the set reunion. It was the saddest day of my life. I will not see him again before I fly away, tears started to fell.
It’s been a year now since I left home, he haven’t talked to me since the night on the meeting. Even in facebook, though we’re both online yet he never tried to open a conversation with me. It was just so strange that he always asked me how am i doing but now he didn’t make even a single effort.
Maybe he really doesn’t feel anything special towards me, maybe he was just as sweet as that, or maybe it was also my fault. I really don’t know.
Right now, our classmates and friends got curious about my lovelife, they have this in mind that KIM and ME we’re having a special relationship for even we were miles apart, we still find time to talk and be updated with each others life. We were really good friends but no special feeling involved. For I know that only one man still own my heart, even though he was not aware of it, I love him from the deepest part of my heart and I will always will. Seven years had passed yet the feeling remains as same as before. Well, what can I do? I can’t force myself to just forget about him. I know I should not be hoping but I can’t help it. I don’t know…all I know that IF YOU’RE SINGLE, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOUR NOT IN LOVE FOR I AM SINGLE AND STILL AND LOVE WITH MICHAEL.

(Screen) Name: Dluvseeker

After my first heart break i thought i would never fall in love again, but that all changed when i met Joe. I was 15. We were once strangers, not even knowing each other’s names as we passed corridors. Later (a few months back) we were in the same class and he was sitting right next to me. We started slowly as friends and as soon as you know we started liking each other a hell lot. I honestly just liked him (plain and simple) but i was not in love with him nor did i feel what should i say ready to say that i was in love with him.
He was the first one to tell me that he loved me but at that time i thought he was saying it for the sake of saying it but then he told me that he said it from his heart. I still hadn’t fallen in love with him but i really really liked him. He paid a lot of attention to me. He would always be there if i was sad or upset. He wouldn’t leave my sight. It was really nice………….. but that all changed later. A few months passed and i began to notice that i was falling in love with him too. We would call each other everyday and pass chits…it was the best time of my life. He made me feel safe and loved, something that i was yearning for for a long time. We were like the high school sweethearts. Everyone knew about us and we were like the cutest couple. Anytime you see we would always be with each other…never letting go.
A few months later we broke up and i totally broke down (in the sense that i cried a lot!) It was then that i realized that i completely fallen head over heels for this guy. I was in love with him, and he broke my heart. I told myself that if by any chance (kinda like one in a million chances) if he was gonna ask me to get back together with him i would say yes then and there. About a few days past and he called and asked if we wanted to get back. I don’t know what happened i told him that i needed to think it over. I guess i was afraid he was doing this only to make me happy/ he would break my heart again.
I finally said yes. And now we’re not the same couple we were. I honestly don’t know what happened. We don’t talk much, seldom pass chits. Its as if that spark had been blown off into eternity. we call each other ‘honey’ and you know what all, but i’m not sure if he’s faking it. But when we’re alone/talk (mobile) he sounds like the same Joe i once fell in love with. We talk about all kinds of things even about our kids (for fun i guess) but to me to be honest its him i want to marry and him that i picture my future kids with. He tells the same but we both like talking abt stuff like that for fun, sometimes even if its real, but how do i know if he really wants to? Deep down i want to accept the fact that he feels the same way as he did before but the fear/thought of the worst frightens me. One thing i realized about him was that if he truly loves you he will give you his heart, his everything. He’ll be by your side every minute and second. He’ll truly love you and when he says it you can see it in his eyes that he means it..a lot. He’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love his voice, his touch, his eyes, his hands, his everything. I just wish he would be the same…or if he is changed i guess i’m just afraid to accept the truth. Honestly i don’t know. I love him with all my heart, to me thats real and thats the truth. I will love him now, and forever. That’s a promise i will never break. I wouldn’t even think of doing anything that would hurt him in any way. I wouldn’t mind him hurting me again (ok maybe a little bit) but i don’t want to be the one who hurts him. Just trust your heart I guess….

(Screen) Name: X

when i was in grade school, around the age of 4, a new kid was coming into our class, so the teacher called everyone to their seats. i was in the middle giggiling away with my friends, when a boy walked in and literally took my breathe away. i was confused at the time because
what i was feeling was new to me, it scared me. a week after my family moved. yrs passed and next thing i knew i was 16 n we moved back. to my surprise he was still there. we became good friends, and started dating in highschool. he was my first and i was his. on our graduation day he got on one knee and proposed, he told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of my life with me, i was so soo happy i couldnt hold back the tears. a week after we got married, reading our vows to one another, he said something to me that i will never forget. i had dreams, my whole life planned out and what i was gunna do for the rest of my life. but the day we promised eachother for eternity i knew he was it for me. a month after we spent our first night as man n wife, i found out i was pregnant. i couldnt believe how lucky i was to be this happy. i went downtown to where my husband worked, as i walked through the doors, a chill ran down my spine. i spotted my husband in the crowd. we met right in the middle when he leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, put his hand on my belly and whispered into my ear “i love you”, so softly and gently, it felt like heaven touched me. if i could i would spend eternity in that moment. but fate had a different plan. my husbands heart stopped beating in that moment. he died in my arms instantly. 8 mnths later i gave birth to my beautiful son Jacob, named after his father. not a day goes by that i dont think of him. my sons 5 now, and he is so much like his father u have no idea, a spitting image to be exact. i love u Jacob, my one true love.

(Screen) Name: jay jay

If you know any beautiful love stories, please share it!